Worry not!!!

I don’t remember in my whole life that I didn’t worry for a thing, everyday. Even for just a single little thing, that I know I felt there’s something wrong, it bothers me for a while.

I admit I am a worrier person. And I envy people who are living their whole life free from care and doubts, as if they don’t have problems, and just smiling even you know that they also have circumstances in life. Can someone tell me how to become like them?

Yeah, I am a worrier. Well, I guess its our nature to worry sometimes. And as far as I know, you didn’t worry if you don’t have problems, which I’m sure not even a single person doesn’t have problems. Oh yeah, except for a child who doesn’t care at all, they didn’t worry if they have food to eat, they didn’t worry if their clothes is out of style or too dirty or have holes. They didn’t worry being hurt from playing all day around, and didn’t worry if what will happened tomorrow and in the future. That’s why God loves children most specially.

As I stopped for a while to do some prayers, God put an end on my worries. I realize why would I be worried when God has been here and will always be here at my side now and then and at the end of time. As I continue seeking for answers about worries I found some poems and quotes on how to stop worrying and start living!

Top Ten quotes on Worry

1. "Worrying about it takes precious time and attention away from your priorities and increases your feelings of dissatisfaction about life." Christina Winsey-Rudd

2. "If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system."William James

3. "Don't worry about how much money you have and how you are going to spend it. Worry about how much love you have, that way, you can spend your life happily."Michelle C. Ustaszeski

4. "Action is worry's worst enemy." Proverb

5. "I try to only worry about things I have control over " Steve Nash

6. "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. " Author Unknown

7. "The only thing you will ever accomplish by worrying is to elevate your stress levels." Catherine Pulsifer

8. "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." Leo Buscaglia

9. "What's the use of worrying? It never was worth while, so pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag, and smile, smile, smile." George Asaf

10. "Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. if encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." Arthur Somers Rache

And so I say, let us not worry about the future, let us only do the right thing today, at this moment, here and now. Let the future take care of itself!

Miracles happened!!!

Most of us believe about miracles, but sadly some don't. I wonder why they don't believe that miracles exist. Didn't they know that its a big miracle living in this world today? With all the sickness that the world brought today, adversities and disasters of nature, and the fragile surroundings, we should be thankful that everyday, from the moment we wake up, we are still breathing, we are still moving, and we could still see ourselves and loved ones happy and in good health? Yes, our life is a big miracle. Actually, all things are miracles. And God performed miracles all day, everyday in our lives, big or small, we are just too busy to noticed it sometimes.

I can say that I am the living proof of miracles. From the moment I was born. My mother said, (I have heard this story many times), that she had suffered labor from me three days before giving birth. She actually told my grandfather who was there at her side to take care of me whatever happens. When I go out into this world from her tummy, I looked so fail and didn't even cried, as they say a sign of a healthy baby. My mother said its a miracle that we've both survive that incident.

As I grew up, learned new things, got friends, lost someone, gained new people, I know i have been exposed to miracles. I know how to appreciate even simple little things that God proved that he loves me, and that he was there at my side always. I remember, when I was in college, I was so worried that I have to study and memorized all the possible answers on our exams, when I accidentally saw a paper which has an inspirational quote about not to worry too much because God is there ready to help anytime you need Him. It makes me smile. One day, when I was on my way going back home from school, I was so dissapointed because of the traffic and from feeling so hungry, my head starts to aches. I want to growl at the driver to say keep on moving because there are cars that keep on passed by on his lane, I want to go grab the steering wheel to do it on my own because I really really want to go home. Suddenly I heared the sounds of an ambulance, I get to see the people inside of it too even if its so in a hurry passing the road. I felt shame to my self and thought that I still have to feel blessed that even if Im stuck on that traffic, I'm still ok and can still handle the pain im feeling on my head. I know whoever is in that ambulance would want to be in my positions too that even Im in the middle of the traffic, I am still well, and ok. Those little things, for me are miracles. They come unexpectedly, when you least expect it.

When my father got sick, thats the time we started to feel how hard the life is. We've lost some property, we've sacrifice some and pawned some. Plus when my sister got hospitalized for almost a month, we experienced to wake up in the morning without even a single penny on the hand to buy for just a piece of bread. My mother who usually woke up in the morning to find someone to borrow money that day was losing hope, she didn't know where to go. That morning, for no reason her feet leads her to one of the plant planted in the big can which is on the top of our fences. She then dig the soil of the plant and got shocked from what she saw. She found 6 pesos on the soil. Imagine, that was just a small amount of money but it is enough to make us smile all day. We've waited for somebody to asked about that money but no one searched for it. The same situations happened when she saw 500 pesos at the oldest book we've been keeping for so long. That book suddenly appeared on that day. We've cried for so much joy. God moves in mysterious ways we cannot see. He make us realize that even a simple and little things helps when you needed it badly.

Just a thought, God performed miracles already at his times but still there just few who believed. I wonder how lucky they are to see Jesus, but they didn't seem care about it. Nowadays, lots of people were asking for miracles. Miracles to extend their lives, to get well from sickness, to meet their longing partner, and to finally have a baby.... When my father died, we didnt know where to go that time. But God is there, willing to give his helping hand to us. We've lost a loved one but He gave lots of friend, and he showers blessings to us, that even my father wasn't here on our side anymore, he is there to become a father and a provider. Our family was never perfect, we often disobeyed Him, but He never gave up showing us how pure his heart is, that he always forgive even we always failed Him.

Miracles brought us happiness, and hope that God will never let us go alone in our daily lives. It makes us appreciate life that we have to be thankful and hope for the best, because God had planned everything from the day we have born into this world. Our life is full of miracles, just keep your eyes wide open and believe that Miracles happened!!!... ;)

Another day to be happy...

Its another day of my life again... Another day of hope for everything, another day to love and be loved, another day to smile and laugh... I know i don't have rights to think of those unhappy thoughts, don't have the right to frown because through the years, even though many circumstances had come into my life, I should be thankful and happy, that I have my loved ones, my family, relatives and friends surrounds me, I know I am blessed.

Thank you God for the wonderful life you gave me... We praise you and we glorify your name, Jesus, and God Jehovah!!! My healer, my comforter, my father, my King...

Will you still love me even if im not perfect?

Will you still love me even if I’m not perfect? Will you still love me even if I’m not the kind of person you wished I were? Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my shadows? Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there will be times I’d let you down?

For though I yearn to take care of you as I should, though I desire to love you with a love that never falters and fades, my knees tremble this very moment that you hold me in your arms.

Shall I kiss you? Shall I hold your hand and bask in the light of your spirit knowing that I have my darkness, knowing there will be times that the light of my love will sometimes be overshadowed by the darkness that is in me?

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you. I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me. Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words what the hell it is that troubles me. I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together. Sometimes I’d lose my temper and I’d no longer act like the fine person who stands before you today. Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean. Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt. And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways. I’d demand things I shouldn’t, I’d say things I shouldn’t say. And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy, sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

If you will love me I cannot promise you that I will not hurt you. I cannot promise you that I will not make you cry and that I’ll never break your heart. But if you will love me, I will bare my whole self naked before you, and I will reveal to you my soul. If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love, not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see. If you will love me, you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart.

Read more: http://itakeoffthemask.com/life/will-you-still-love-me-even-if-im-not-perfect/#ixzz0sQ31H3YX

Timeline of my K1 Visa Processing

First exchanging emails, April 26, 2009

First met/ First visit, June 19, 2009

Second visit, November 1, 2009

Get engaged, November 2, 2009

Jeramie start to conduct papers, December 2009

Jeramie filed the papers in USA, January 2010

Received the letter from US Embassy, March 23, 2010

Medical schedule, May 19 - July 19 (passed!) Glory to the Highest!

Interview schedule - Sept. 10, 2010 (passed!) Thank You God soooooo much!

One week of great happiness!

After he came back to Hawaii from visiting me the 2nd time around, we decided to finally start processing my papers which is the fiance K1 visa. That’s the best and the easiest way for me to get there to his country. The idea of living together and building our own family, excite us most. I can’t wait for everything, to meet his whole family, specially his mom, who had been so nice ever since we trade emails, I know she's nicer in person, I cant wait to finally meet them all. :)

We start do the researching in the internet and asked some friends who had been in that situations but because everything we've heard are all unfamiliar, we still didn’t know where to start and what to do first. While searching for an answer, Jeramie found a fellow who replied to his post from a website where everybody can put their comments and suggestions.

Dew had been in that situation too, he marry a Filipina and waited long to get his wife out from the Philippines. They started exchanging emails, and decided to meet each other since they are living in Hawaii too. Dew and Ivy explained everything to Jeramie, what to do, and the step by step processing of the papers. Later we knew that Dew and Ivy has their own dating web site and are truly extending help for those couples who really doesn’t know how to get their fiance to the US. We did what they said, and start to conduct all the papers we needed. I sent my birth certificate from NSO, NBI, and two 2x2 passport picture with a white background to Jeramie that will be included to the first batch of papers that he will going to file to the US Embassy. The second batch of papers sent after a month of approval.

While we are waiting for the paper to be forwarded here in the Philippines, he decided to make a visit again. We've been told that the processing will take long, so we thought that’s a brilliant idea. We really need to be together again because of the pressure, and most specially, we really miss each other. It’s really hard to be apart, we really need to take advantage of every moment given just for us to be together again. So we became busy planning again for his third visit. But because he had done lots of leave in his work, he is now allowed to have a visit for one week only. A short time for a far vacation, but enough for a longing heart.

His arrival in the Philippines was scheduled on March 16, 2010, at 5:15 PM, at NAIA terminal 1 via Hawaiian Airlines. I was a little nervous because that airport was not familiar with him. I’m sure he will get confused once he arrived. So I just handed my phone, in case he will call. NAIA Terminal 1 is way smaller than other international airport in Manila, and it’s crowded too, and somewhat confusing. They have two way exit. That made my head aches, plus the two hours delay. My mom who was with me that time, start to feel bored too. I was just praying that he arrived safe and I will be fine. After three hours of standing there, at last, I saw him. He made his exit on the right way with a confusing face, hahaha... I waved my hand for him to see me, and it was a relieved when we hugged and sneak a quick kiss.

Manila Eco Park was our first destinations after two days of just being lazy and just stayed at our hotel room in Malate (Pearl Garden Hotel). We go there with the kids and mom. We expected to enjoy at Manila Eco Park, with activities they served on their online addresses, but we failed. Yes, the kids enjoyed their bath on the pool, but most of the adult activities are not available already, the Butterfly garden are ruined, fishing and boat ride is not allowed anymore. I felt sad, I should have picked somewhere else to go, and I should have called them first to find it out, oh yeah, I remember calling them many times but no one answering the phone. I just couldn't stopped my self from thinking, why did they not preserved the park? Well, I still love the trees anyway, and hopefully when we came back we could enjoy the park better.

Next destination, The Corregidor Island. We’ve planned to go there since Jeramie decided to visit me the second time around. He loves historic places that’s why we put that in our priority list of places to visit. But unluckily, we failed to get their promo packages, its too late for us to get the three day stay, so just to glance the place, we’ve avail their one day tour, with my mom, sister and her friend.

Corregidor island is such an educational place. It is good for the people who loves history, and loves to see lots of gadgets from WWII. We really enjoyed it, from riding on the ferry boat (I almost get sick because of the big waves), riding on the tourist bus with the friendly tourist guide (thumbs up to them!), seeing nice views (love the lunch at sea side), old things, from money to utensils (my honey bought an old money to add his coin collection), canyons (that was the first time i saw big canyons), guns, ruined buildings (where late President Manuel Roxas stayed at the island), everything was awesome! We will surely go back there to witness the fantastic sunset and sunrise…

Few days after that, the day of his departure, we’ve finally received the letter of the US Embassy saying that anytime now, I can schedule my medical and interview. We are so happy to received it. That started my journey to get my fiancé visa, I cant wait…. Specially to finally be with my honey, and start my whole life with him.

Thank you God for everything! :)

An All Souls Day Marriage Proposal!

Time flew fast! After four months of being apart, the emailing, chatting, sending snailmail, and calling on mobile seems not enough to fill the eagerness of being together again. We really misses each other so much, so from the day he went back to Hawaii, he started to save money again for his second visit. Haha... I think my prince charming had been hooked up with me already ;) This time, we've done so much preparations a month before he arrived in the Philippines. From the hotel, places to visit, rented car, and all the possible expenses. Oh well, actually he had done most of this preparations, specially to shop for our precious thing, our engagement ring.

It was Novemeber 1, 2009 when he arrived here in my beloved country, at the same airport and same time. Now, Im pretty sure that we are waiting in the right waiting area of the airport. I brought my mother with me, my sister and my niece to give him a warm welcome. Of course, we have the camera ready for that momentum.

A day before his departure in Hawaii, he told me that his arrival will be moved an hour late from his original schedule. So we expect that instead of 2:35, he will arrive at 3:35 PM. We've been there an hour before that but the waiting makes me really feel bored, specially my niece who was keep on asking, " What took Tito Jeramie so long Tita?" I just replied her a smile. I know soon he will be in my arms again, all i have to do is wait. Well, the waiting wont be too long now. I just make myself entertained by watching people who are so happy embracing their loved once after not seeing each other for so long. And like them, i couldn't removed the smile on my lips when i finally heard that the plane he was aboarding has came. My honey is here again!

It was really nice to feel his embrace again after four long months. We've planned to have a quick kiss but to think that mom is there, we didnt sneak one, hahaha! They are happy to see Jeramie's back again. After a little conversation and picture takings, we go straight to the car that we had rented to drop us at our hotel in Makati. Our room in BSA Mansion Hotel is a lot different from the picture that we've seen in the internet, so we're kinda dissappointed but we dont have choice, we've already done the reservation. Anyways we will just stay there for two days... Our first night was filled with lots of hugs and kisses :).

The following days are all planned already. November 2, all souls day, we went to cemetery to visit my fathers tomb. It was my promise to papa that I will bring the person who I want to be with for the rest of my life. Yeah, I asked for blessings, I know he is happy for me... There, with my mom, aunt, niece and nephew, we offered him a little prayer. It was afternoon that time, the sun is up and it hurts already so we decided to leave after an hour of staying there. Going back home, we didn't noticed that my nephew vomited inside the taxi, we just get to know about it later after they get off the cab. We've noticed that the driver get disappointed about it, so while we were on our way to our hotel, we decided that we will add a couple of hundred for the taxi rates. When we get there, and stop at the front of our hotel, I handed him four hundred pesos, two hundred for our taxi rates and another two hundred for the mess my nephew made. But the heck, he insisted, and want to ask more. He's saying that the cleaning is expensive now. I get disappointed, I know all, even the smallest things are expensive now but I doubted he will bring his car to shop to get cleaned because me myself can do it. I even volunteered to clean the mess because the floor is covered by a plastic mat, so eventually its easy to clean, just wash it with water and spray perfume, and its done. I keep arguing with the driver, i disagree about the 300 box that he want me to add from the first four hundred that i gave him. It was lots already, and I know that he was just taking advantage of Jeramie, who is being confused that time about whats happening. I really want to continue arguing but i think i will explode already, and to think that Jeramie is there

waiting and staring at me, i gave what he want, with the word "God bless you manong!".

We go straight to our room without saying anything. If you saw me that time, my face was like a scrambled paper, and I bet the painter wont say yes even I'll pay him a thousand dollar just to paint my face, haha! Even Jeramie couldn't find a words to start a conversation. He knows I'm mad. First I kept silent, and face him and say sorry about what happened, but i cant hide my feelings and couldn't resist to burst tears. Thats me whenever I'm mad and feel like i cant do anything, I just cry. For him not to see me crying, I went to the bedroom and lay down to the bed, but he follows, and hugged me. I tried to say anything and to explain everything, but I couldn't speak for my tears wont stop from falling, so I just cried while he was keep on saying that everything is just fine, and giving me a tender kiss in my forehead. After a minute of silence, I stood up and decided to went to the bathroom to wash my face and stop the drama. Without any idea, when i came back he was already wearing the weirdest smile in his face. I didn't noticed the black small box that he's holding in his other hand, as i remember he guided me until we get to the bedroom, He start to say something that i coudn't remember already because of the feeling of excitement. Is this the time that I've been waiting for? Is he going to propose now? Those questions answered by the time he kneel in front of me while gazing me into the eye and said, "I want you to be the mother of my children... Will you be my wife?" He then showed me the ring, and fitted in my ring finger... I felt like i got paralyzed that time for a second, I was shocked and don't know what to say. I was so overwhelmed, and my tears start to fall again, this time for happiness. I hugged him and whisper "YES,YES, YES". That was the one of the happiest day of my life. :)

After that day, we woke up early to prepare to checked out. Our destination is Tagaytay. Jeramie told me that he was really waiting that our engagement will be done to more nicer and special place like that, but things are more often happened out of our control. Its ok though, its just really nice to see our engagement ring on our finger. ;) That night, after he proposed, I asked him why he decided to propose so soon? Well, I already know, that visit is for our engagement, and I cant wait to have my ring. I just cant believed it happened so soon, at the 2nd day of his 2nd visit, and the exact all souls day. He laugh, and gave me the sweetest smile, then said, I never met a girl like you.... That followed with a sweet and gentle kisses. See how lucky I am??? :)

That visit of him gave us more time for each other. Its our first time to get there so everything was unfamiliar. We stayed in Days Hotel Tagaytay for four days. We get to visit different parks and the Taal volcano. We truly enjoyed everything. But when we came back to Manila, the hot temperature made him not feel well. He got sick, from two days staying in Raf Mansion hotel in Pasay (the worst hotel we've stayed in ) to finally found our official hotel in Malate (Pearl Garden Hotel), he didnt even felt good. I am so worried because his departure will be a couple of days to go, but in Gods help he get better before the day of his departure. And thanks to myself too, his registered nurse that time, ahaha..

I've lived in my whole life depending to my parents, and cant decide for something and do something without even their guidance. I guess, that time I become independent and teach my self to depend on my own for most of the time, most of the decisions. I guess I become a strong person when Jeramie came. He brings out the best in me. I guess its time for me to live not for them only, but for myself and for my future... my life with my american fiance... my love... my honey Jeramie.