Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Let your bedroom be the sanctuary for your love

For love to flourish,
it needs a special place
where its not competing
for time and space.

It may feel extreme
to consider it hallowed ground,
but if your bedroom is not
the sanctuary for your love,
then where else is?

Your bedroom is the one room in your house that deserves the certain respect because it bears silent witness to and shelters your love.

If you love all the mystery from within those four walls, you'll be weakening the fabric of the bond you're trying to build.

If the door is never shut, or if it doubles as a work room, children's playroom, exercise area, TV viewing place, or snack bar, how can opportunities arise for spontaneous signs of affection?

Try to think of your bedroom as a garden, and put up a fence to protect your little seedlings of love and give them a better chance to grow.

If space limitations leave you no choice but to have your bedroom double as something else, then at least put some time limits on these activities. Remember, cuddling is just as important as paying bills, and far superior to watching the evening news.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Look your partner in the eyes

Maybe that's how it began.
You were across the room
and your eyes met.

Soon you communicated with words
and with your bodies,
but it was your eyes that made
the first contact.

Eye contact is vital in every relationship. When spoken into space, the words "I love you" lose half their meaning-- maybe even all of it. (Unless you're on the phone, of course.) Its when you say words while looking into your lovers eyes that they mean the most.

Your eyes can express feelings that words cannot. When your eyes say "I missed you," "I adore you," "I'm angry with you," or "I trust you," your partner knows how your really feel with or without words. And when you use your eyes with your words, they add an emphasis that cant be missed.

So try to spent time each day looking to each other's eyes. You'll be expressing yourselves in a way that words cannot duplicate.

If your partner cant look you in the eyes, there's another type of message being communicated. Don't ignore such a sign, but try to get to the bottom of it. The earlier you spot trouble in a relationship and make repairs, the easier it will be.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Make sure your words and actions are in sync

Sometimes words get in the way.
Sometimes they don't say enough.
Sometimes they get stuck in the back of your throat.
But just because your tongue is tied
doesn't mean you're cut off from each other.

Its really great to say those magical three words, "I love you," but there are many ways to let your loved one know how you feel.

You can say an awful lot with a look, a touch, a smile, a frown, a thoughtful gesture, a shrug, a favorite meal, a changed diaper, a silently paid bill, a remembered anniversary, or a bouquet of flowers.

You can also communicate negative thoughts in these silent ways, like leaving your dirty socks on the floor or not calling to say you'll be home late. Sometimes such thoughtlessness is only carelessness, though even then there's an unspoken message.

So let your loved know how you feel, whats in your heart, and whats in your mind... in words and in gestures.

If you're careful how you choose your words, be just as careful in the gestures that you make. Just because nobody hears the tree falling in your forest of love, the effect of the thud will still be felt.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Really mean it when you say "I love you"

As the song said, love is all around us.
But while there may be hearts beating out their tunes
of love all around you,
deciphering the rhythms can be oh-so difficult.
And nothing makes us quite so tongue-tied
as putting our feelings into words.

Emotions are meant to be felt,
heartstrings to be tugged,
shoulders to be caressed,
lips to be kissed.
Our brains, our personal computers,
can process just so much.
So when feelings are running high,
be careful that the words don't get in the way.

One stumbling block to communicating love is that the very word "love" has so many meanings. Saying "I love you" to your partner is a world apart from announcing "I love Rocky Road" at the ice cream parlor. Your heart strings are not pulled the same way by your lover as they are by your children. The love you feel from one of your children is unlike the love you feel from another one of your children or for your grandchild. And then there's a love of God, of country, and of thy neighbor.

With such a cloud of meanings surrounding this small word, its no wonder that making our feelings known can be such a difficult task.

One way to make the word "love" stand for romantic love is to qualify it with a two-letter word: "in." When you say you're "in love" with someone, it means more than simply saying you love them. So if you really want to be clear to your partner, every once in a while, tell them or write to them that you're "in love" with them.
You could even say "I'm so in love with you." That two letter qualifier will mean a lot to them.