Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Homesick


When a friend decided to go back in the Philippines from working abroad, everybody was astonished. Everyone knows that she's been out of the country for only two months, she has a good employer in Singapore, and she has a very good salary. What went wrong? Why did she preferred to go back and stay to her own family though they are still struggling from deep poverty?

"I missed my family!" I still cant forget the way she said that, no doubts, no regrets at all.

Homesick defines for acutely longing for one's family or home... For sure that's what she meant. And I think I'm struggling with that feeling too at this moment...

When I decided to went here (USA) I know I'm gonna miss my family, my home. Actually I am ready to face it, but I didn't know it'll gonna be this kind of pain, I miss them terribly...

For many years of existing, this is my first time to be apart from them (as in million miles apart). Maybe that's the reason why until now, I'm still not get used of it. Living in a quiet place right now is far from the place where I used to live for 28 years. Its peaceful yet it seems more disrupting. The stillness sometimes makes you go insane! Plus being different from the way you look (color of hair and skin), and you talk, sometimes frustrating. Yeah I am an alien in the place where I prefer to be with the man I hooked up.

Its not that I have regrets of getting here. First of all no one's provoke me to went here, just my own self. Its my own will to be with the man I truly love and its a pleasure to be with him forever. My husband is a gift from heaven, and he loves me as much as I love him, he cares as much as I care, and he feel the way I feel. He always makes me smile and laugh... He is a truly blessing... But we must admit, the happiness that your husband can give is different from the happiness that your family could give. Maybe it has the same amount but its different, its just different... I just wish we could live this life together, more closer, I bet it would be more joyful and pleasant.

"God, make me a stronger person as you want me to be. Make me appreciate more every little things that you gave me. Be with me always and hold my hands as I tread the winding road of life. May you guide and bless me always and forever!"... I've uttered this simple prayers as I stopped and closed my eyes...

I realize God never failed to planned your own happiness. We have to celebrate life with gratefulness because even we're all far apart , there is the Lord who is there to cheer you up and become your family.

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